Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
