eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
