You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I got inside last night via doggy door
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
