Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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