my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
