i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize