His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
