Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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