I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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