Whod you bang
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
