I wannas sexs uuuuu
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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