He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Randomize
