nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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