Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
