So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Randomize
