Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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