If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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