I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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