Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
