you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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