I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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