So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
