Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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