Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
