I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
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