one might say we're banned from that church
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
