I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
