Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
