i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Fuck me I smell like cheese
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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