So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
