My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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