So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Enjoy the penises
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
