in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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