I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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