I want to make a zoo with you.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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