ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
