just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
