the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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