Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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