so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
