hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
