Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
