shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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