Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
