I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Just cropdusted the office
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
