He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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