Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Randomize