He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
