just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
