very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
