I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
