He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
accomplished twins. life is a go
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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