you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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