That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
