Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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