No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
